Thinking about therapy
Recently I started thinking about how nervous I was when I very first went to have relationship therapy. My partner and I sought help because much as we had LOVED each other, our relationship was mainly at the time just a stage for explosive arguments, we weren’t sure where the love had gone, was that it? Would it ever come back? Neither of us knew about the power of our relationship triggers, our negative patterns of interactions, how our attachment styles weren’t just clashing, it was like they had been designed specifically to aggravate the other beyond belief.
Then we went to relationship therapy. It wasn’t easy. Yet, with the help of some good old fashioned Transactional Analysis theory (Ego States by Eric Berne) and a good deal of active listening, empathy, patience (and biting the tongue whilst trying not to explode listening to some of the things my partner said) we got through it and it really did help. We learnt to communicate without the blame, how certain things we were both doing would destroy our relationship and committed to not doing them. We learnt how to understand and be kinder to each other… In fact it is what inspired me to train in the first place.
If anyone is thinking about giving couples therapy, or relationship therapy a go… why not try it? Book a free intro call with a counsellor or therapist that looks ok to you. What’s the worst that could happen? You never know you might end up much happier and learning a lot about relationships as you go. You don’t have to make a career out of it!
